Having a husband that wants a homebirth

I should totally get Steve this shirt

I get asked a lot if my husband is on board for the homebirth. Do you think I’d feel confident and supported in this decision if it was my decision alone? I can very (VERY) thankfully say that my husband loves the idea of having a homebirth this time.

Sometimes? He’s more on board with the idea than I am, haha. If I get scared or start asking questions, he’s right there to calm me down and bring me back to Earth. He reminds me why we’re doing this and what we want. He reminds me that we can do this… that *I* can do this.

We haven’t found a midwife yet. I freak out. He says, “psshhh, we don’t need one. You can do it.” Hahaha. You see? He’s more of a crunchy birth nut than I am 😉 But for real, we’ll find a midwife 😉 lol

The first time… we didn’t know what we were doing. We had no idea what to expect. We didn’t hire a doula.

This time? We’re hiring a midwife AND a doula. We’re doing hypnobabies. We’re taking a VBAC class. We’re reading books. We’re having a homebirth.

And I can’t say enough how amazingly lucky I am to have this much support from my husband. I’ve talked with many women who like the idea of a homebirth and would consider having one, but say their husbands don’t like the idea or won’t “let” them. I honestly don’t know what I would do in that situation. I have no tips or suggestions, either, to help sway husbands toward homebirth (apart from showing them the stats)… because I didn’t have to.

I guess Steve saw what I went through when Ryan was born. The way we were treated and lied to in the hospital… and he didn’t like it either! Maybe more so, the recovery afterwards. I had such a hard time and Steve was so worried about me for awhile, I know he doesn’t want to see that happen to me (or anyone) again. ALSO–you better believe he knows his stats and info too on VBACs and repeat c-sections. He knows a VBAC is the safest option for this lil babe (and for me), which makes homebirth the safest option for us.

Steve, thank you so so so much, it means more to me than you could probably ever know.

9 comments to Having a husband that wants a homebirth

  • Rachel N

    That is so awesome! I think homebirths are really sweet and special. I have had both my babies in the hospital but I don’t think I would have been as comfortable at home (just me personally). I really wish we had a birthing center in my city because I think that is a nice compromise between home and hospital and would love that. Hope everything goes according to your wishes with this special little one. Congrats!

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  • Saph @ frugal wife blog

    I’m so thankful my husband had no issues with a homebirth! He left it all up to me. Thankful my midwife’s assistant was a doula so I didn’t have to hire a doula.
    Praying you find a great midwife!!

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  • Tiffany

    Are you taking a hypnobabies class or doing it at home? I really want to do it but I don’t want to take a class again (we did Bradley the first time and had a c-section).

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    babydickey Reply:

    I don’t think we have an actual class near us… we have the home study kit! We tried Bradley the first time too (but again, by books, not a class) and obviously it didn’t work 😉 I think my conclusion is that Bradley relies too much on the husband…. but WHO is the one birthing this baby? Who is in pain? Who has to learn how to get through it? Only us. Good luck, mama, you can do it!

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  • That’s awesome that he’s so supportive, that is SO important! You’re very lucky in that aspect!

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  • Leah Walker

    That is amazing. I’m so happy for you. I had my daughter in a hospital almost 16 years ago because I didn’t know better and things were different then. I was only 20 and didn’t know anything about anything. We have thought about having another baby now that we are ‘grown up’. Lol. I would definitely go the route you are if we decided to. No more hospitals for me. I was dropped, yep dropped, by the nurse helping me get to the bathroom. That doesn’t feel good to your hoohoo when you’ve just given birth. Lol. I weighed 110 pounds when I got pregnant with her and weighed 145ish when I gave birth. She weighed 8,2 so that was a big baby coming out of what she dropped me on. Lol. I was also not wheeled out of there in a wheelchair. Nope, not even. It’s law that you leave the hospital in a wheelchair. Not me. My husband went down to get the car so I was left walking down to the parking lot with the baby in her seat having just given birth with no help from anyone. Nah, home for me too if we give it another whirl.

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  • Sara

    I’m so glad DH is on board. Is it a video or book for hypnobirthing? It’s something I’ve only VERY recently learned about but something I’m definitely curious to learn more about before I get pregnant/give birth!

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  • Christine

    Wow, I just joked about wanting to have the baby at home and my husband looked at me dumbfounded and asked…what about the baby?

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  • Im so happy he is supporting you. It is so important that he be there 100% with you. You can do it. I know you can. You are amazing.

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