**CLOSED** WINNERS: random.org #10 (congrats  Mommy C!), #12 (congrats Alanna!) and #24 (congrats Tara!) Winners have been emailed… thanks to all who entered and read and thanks again the The Paranoid Parents Guide!
What’s funny is that I’ve been planning to write about this topic… and then I got invited to take part in a book tour for The Paranoid Parents Guide… perfect timing, eh? And I feel like I’m the opposite of what I think most parents are like. I’m not paranoid (not usually, anyway) and at least compared to my husband, I’m much more relaxed. Oh Ryan is in the other room? It’s babyproofed, I can hear him, he’s fine. Ryan’s standing up at the corner of the coffee table? No problem. Whereas my husband is like “Get Ryan! He can’t have that. He can’t go there. Put that away.”
So my question is… is there something wrong with me?! Why am I not more worried? More paranoid? Is it going to take something bad happening? Or maybe I’m just a go-with-the-flow, relaxed kind of person and won’t be hovering over Ryan all the time? OF COURSE I don’t want him to ever get hurt. OF COURSE I love him and care about him. But I’m not going to freak about every corner in the house or *every* potential hazard (think about it and everything ever made could be a hazard). That isn’t to say I’m not aware, I keep an eye out for choking or strangling hazards or any other obvious threat. Let’s not get carried away, I’m not that terrible.
So then this book arrives. The Paranoid Parents Guide. It covers the whole span of a child’s life so I learned about what I have to look forward to with Ryan. “Worry less, parent better, and raise a resilient child.” All good things, right? The start of the book has you sit down for 5 minutes and write about your worries for your child. Some parents come up with a hundred things, some parents write “everything.” Me? I worry about things like : raising a respectful young boy who is caring and kind and strong and intelligent. I’m sure other parents do too… but I didn’t have things on my list like “falling off the couch, getting lost at the store, etc.” Okay, here’s one legit worry: choking. Because Ryan eats solids (sometimes) instead of purees.
The author of the book suggests that many times parents worry about the wrong things. We worry about the rare circumstances that happen to 1 in 10 million kids and she’s here to tell us what we should worry about. Intrigued? I was. Here’s the list of the typical Top 10 worries of parents:
1. Kidnapping
2. School snipers
3. Terrorism
4. Stranger danger
5. Drugs
6. Vaccinations
7. Playing in the front yard
8. Bullying
9. School buses
10. Natural disasters
So what are the real dangers? The things that are actually causing death and injury for children? Here’s that Top 10 list:
1. Car accidents
2. Homicide
3. Abuse
4. Suicide
5. Drowning
6. Fire
7. Suffocation
8. Bicycle accidents
9. Unintentional poisoning
10. Everything else
The book explains who to trust, how to analyze what you hear, and why you don’t need to worry about certain things (specifically those listed on the first top 10 list). The book then goes on through each stage of life and discusses what safety products you really need or don’t need, what to worry about and what not to worry about. There’s a whole list of products that can unintentionally poison your child (listed under the toddler stage), which I found really helpful! Things you wouldn’t even think of! (Okay, maybe now I’m starting to get a bit MORE paranoid! haha).
The author points out some misplaced worry: shopping at the store and you’re worried about germs on the shopping cart handle… but you should be worried about falling and head injuries. Sometimes this author takes a tone that, in my opinion, sounds as if parents are stupid. But maybe that’s what it takes for people to realize the real dangers.
All the way through COLLEGE! this book covers anything you’re wondering about: sharks in the ocean, bullies at school, dangerous sports, sex-ed, too much TV, being spoiled, eating disorders…. and lots more. For me personally, this book made me more aware of the real dangers that are truly out there and what I should be watching out for. Already worried about everything? This book gives tips on how to overcome being a paranoid parent too.
Being a first-time mom brings up questions and situations you’ve never dealt with before. What’s the “right” way to handle it? The “wrong” way? Who knows! You do the best you can – and you read books like this to help on the way 😉
Find it at Amazon for around $10: The Paranoid Parents Guide: Worry Less, Parent Better, and Raise a Resilient Child
Or WIN a copy here! Provided enough people enter, there will be THREE lucky readers who will each win a copy of this book!
TO ENTER: simply leave a comment below with your biggest worry for your child(ren)! Or a tip on overcoming worries!
Want an extra entry? Follow this blog publicly on google friend connect and leave a separate comment letting me know.
What I’m most afraid of right now is M getting bit by a brown recluse spider that is native to VA and I won’t know it! Now I know that the chances of that happening are slim to none but it still freaks me out.
I’m also afraid of car accidents because we travel a lot!
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I follow your blog!
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Right now my biggest fear is choking. Head bumps, spills, falls, I can handle but choking terrifies me as I’m just starting to introduce Nellie to foods with a little bit more consistency, and things like cereal puffs!! I’m also pretty easy going but that just scares the crap out of me.
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Oh, and I follow you!
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*raises hand* Paranoid Parent here. Can’t help it. I worry about EVERYTHING but not to the point where my kids live in a bubble. I let them do anything and everything but in my head I’m freaking out, I just don’t show it. LOL.
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I follow your blog 🙂
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I am super afraid of S choking,although it is getting better the more S successfully eats finger foods. I am also paranoid of SIDS even though I know the chance of a 9 month old dying that way is highly unlikely, I still have the sensor on for his crib.
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When I read the beginning paragraph of this I was shaking my head yes the whole time. I am the same way you are and my husband is the same way yours is. He is WAY more paranoid that I am. When she’s running down the hill in our front yard pushing her stroller that’s about to get away from her I tend to be in the “if she eats it, she’ll figure it out and won’t do it again” camp where my husband is in the “RY STOP! YOU’RE GOING TO FALL and run after her to catch the stroller” camp. I really don’t know what I’m paranoid about to be honest with you…not a lot. Maybe that’s a bad thing…
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babydickey Reply:
September 29th, 2010 at 10:38 am
That’s the same thing I was wondering–is it a bad thing?! But it’s not like we don’t care! It’s just that we’re going to let them learn their own way… right? lol. Glad I’m not the only one! 🙂
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I had to hop online to get to the google friend connect…now following!!
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I don’t think I’m too terribly paranoid, but I still worry about SIDS. And things in the future, like playing in the front yard, or riding her bike out around town. And meeting boys.
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I follow your blog publicly!
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Great review! I worried about a lot of things when my kids were little. Now that they are preteens my worries are different, but I still worry. My 12 year old rides her bike to school and I worry about her getting hit by a car, stuff like that. And I can’t really even start thinking about my kids driving cars- ugh. Too scary. At least I have 3+ more years before I have to seriously worry about that.
Thanks so much for being on the tour!!
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My biggest worry is choking because Jack is putting everything into his mouth right now. Scary!
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I follow your blog!
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My biggest fear is that my daughter (1) will choke or hurt herself on one my older children’s (5 and 7) toys or that they will forget to put the gate back up, etc.
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My biggest fear is knowing that my kids feelings will get hurt n I can’t do nothing nothing about it, of course I also worry about bike rides, school etc.
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Google friends connect 🙂 follow ur blog
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My biggest fear right now is choking also. Seraya is starting to eat more solids besides her purees and it just terrifies me. The other day she was chewing on a teething biscuit and a bigger chunk came off. I waited to see if she could handle it and of course she starts coughing like she is choking and then starts to cry. Needless to say, we were done with the biscuit at that time and I have yet to try it again!
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I follow your blog!
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As a first time mom to a 5.5 month old I am worried about the babyproofing issues–pulling on cords, eating the dog’s food, avoiding the fireplace’s pointy corners! This book would be great!
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Whenever I babysit my nephew, I worry most about him drowning, which I guess is a legitimate fear. He’s had close encounters with water before, so it makes me nervous near water.
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I have struggled with worry and anxiety for years, so now that I have a son I worry a ridiculous amount. One thing that helps to relieve my anxiety is writing down what the worst case scenario. I end up feeling pretty stupid (even though no one is reading it but me) writing down what I think could possibly happen. It’s easy for my mind to race ahead and think of the worst possible outcome, but to take a minute and write it down somewhat puts it in perspective!
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I follow you on GFC!
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I see people here are mostly worried about choking. Here’s what you do- take a CPR and first aid class. You’ll get certified- which doesn’t cost a whole lot, and be able to properly help your child if the need ever occurs. Or if money is an issue- do some research online or in a library and print out instructions.
I’ve taken the classes a while back, and am thankful to say, I’ve never needed to use the information. But if I ever need to, I can.
I fear strangers when it comes to kids. Am yet to find a way to be less paranoid about that.
tarynlc86(at)yahoo(dot)com
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babydickey Reply:
October 9th, 2010 at 6:00 pm
Awesome advice – I think every parent should be CPR certified! I am certified, but my husband is not. And I’d say it only calms my fears of choking a little bit. When he coughs on a piece of food, I still panic and tense up! But at least I’d know what to do!
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my biggest fear is that my child will be a follower and not make decisions for themself.
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i worry about the everything part my kids think im crazy i think its normal .my tip : sleep with the t.v. on so you dont let your mind wonder befor bed wildoneyebe at gmail dot com
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I worry about abuse by adults – especially since they are too young to talk and tell me what happened!
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Thanks for the fun contests! I would love to win a copy. I am not overly fearful most of the time, but my kids did just start riding the school bus to school last week, so sometimes I get nervous that something could happen. But I am sure they will be fine 🙂
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I follow your blog publicly on Google friend connect 🙂
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The perceived, projected fear of everything concerns me too!
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My biggest worry is the whole 2012 scare–I don’t want the world to end when my kids are only 3 & 2! Thanks for the contest! codisweepstakes2 (@) gmail(dot)com
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I follow you via Google Friend Connect / Blogger codisweepstakes2 (@) gmail(dot)com
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I always worry about my daughter getting lost! suelee1998 @ gmail.com
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I follow your blog via gfc suelee1998 @ gmail.com
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My biggest worry is my son choking. He is past the stage of sticking everything into his mouth, but I still do worry when he eats.
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I’m following your blog – Homemaker
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I’m just an everything worrier when it comes to my kids! I couldn’t just pick one thing.
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I worry about everything. When she was about three months, we decided it was time for her to sleep in her crib in her room next to ours and I had to get the monitor Angel something, I can’t remember, it has a motion pad that goes under the mattress and if the child stop breathing an alarm goes off. I worry a bit about chocking, I worry about the future, I can’t put her in a daycare yet because I worry!!! I’m a worrying machine but I’m working on it, need to learn to let go!
Oh and I follow you…
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