ALMOST. If you remember, I had said we wanted to start trying for #2 this summer, so the baby was born next April-May because as a teacher, I’d have the entire summer off with the babe. Well, when Steve lost his job, those plans were put on hold. I honestly thought they’d be put on hold for a long time–I didn’t expect Steve to find a job so soon.
But he did. Yep, Steve will be the new Environmental Products Engineer at a company in Dixon, IL. That pretty much means……… our baby-making plans are ON.
I had a VBAC to-do list of things I wanted to accomplish before getting pregnant again. I’ve been slacking… a lot. I made the list in December and at that time, this summer seemed REALLY far away. HOW is it already mid-April?!?!?! I have about 3 months left to prepare for this birth.. VBAC.. homebirth… and those 3 months will fly by, too. I have a lot to do.
As of right now, I’m not mentally prepared for another birth. At this moment, if I end up with a repeat cesarean, I’m afraid I will end up in the freaking loony bin. I need to be prepared for and aware of all possibilities–and accepting of all of those possibilities.
Let’s check out that list..
Journey to a VBAC:
–Find a midwife and establish a relationship
*Not even close. I feel like I don’t have many options for this. I wanted a CPM (which are “illegal” in IL) and now we’re moving even farther from WI (where they are legal). I believe Dixon even has “VBAC bans” and might possibly be an even worse place to birth than Rockford. I really need to start interviewing.
–Check with my insurance about homebirths
*When Steve lost his job, we lost our insurance. We got on private health insurance as soon as possible, but it is catastrophic and doesn’t cover maternity. Thankfully, Steve’s new job gets us all coverage (including maternity).
–Talk to the OB that cut me… or write her a letter… or, you know, ram my car into her house (…kidding, ha. ha.)
*Nope, haven’t worked on this one. The letter I wrote to my OB when Ryan was about 3 months old is still the best I’ve got.
–READ. Become even more knowledgeable on birth, c-sections, VBACs and homebirths. No one will take advantage of me again.
*I’m currently reading “Birthing From Within” by Pam England and I am in LOVE with it. I met her at the ICAN conference–I really need to blog about that!!! I also have “The Thinking Woman’s Guide To A Better Birth” by the one and only, Ina May Gaskin–that’s next on my reading list. I have a few others too. Better get reading!
–Find my support team (including a doula)
*Still working on it. The last doula I spoke to said homebirths are illegal, soooo………… moving on.
–Take a birthing class – and not the crap offered at the hospitals here, but somewhere like Birthing Babes
*Well I guess this one isn’t really done until after I’m pregnant. I’m interested in Brio Birth, but the closest one (after we move to Dixon) is a little under an hour away–not too bad, probably worth it! As for Birthing Babes… the website is down, so I’m not sure what happened to it. But it’s pretty far away for me. Maybe “childbirth educator” is in my future 😉
–Buy the home study Hypnobabies course
*A lovely, lovely, lovely woman saw my list months ago and sent me her brand new home Hypnobabies course. I was in awe and shock and SO extremely grateful, I cried when it got here. It felt like my first step toward success.
–Have Steve read (re-read) the Bradley Method book
*I might skip this one. Bradley sucked the first time around (didn’t work for us) and all I keep hearing are negative Bradley stories. Not that what works (or doesn’t) for someone, will be true for me… but I don’t want to just do Bradley this time, is what I’m trying to say, I think. It won’t hurt for Steve to read the book I guess–he was so quiet during labor with Ryan, I needed him to talk to me, so we’ll need to work on that.
–Get in shape (not lose weight, just get FIT – maybe start running again)
*This is coming along pretty well. For awhile now I’ve been UNDER my pre-pregnancy weight (like, back to high school weight). I do want to run this summer though.
–Overcome my fear.
*Oh boy. This is what it all comes down to, this is the kicker. This is an entirely new blog post. Someday. (Which better be someday soon, I guess!)
Woah, girl. That’s a lot of planning on some things that might just not happen like you think :):).
I hope everything goes well for you. It is so much easier if you have good support. Here home births and midwifery are illegal, but the hospital close to me is lovely, and they are super helpful.
I have a friend who’s studying to be a doula and she had a Vbac. This is her blog http://ourlivesarenotourown.blogspot.com/
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babydickey Reply:
April 19th, 2011 at 11:23 pm
Planning for something that MAY not happen, sure, but what if I didn’t plan enough and ended up with another (unnecessary) repeat c-section? 🙂 I wish I had a supportive hospital here, but they’re terrible places to birth – especially for a VBAC. Thanks for sharing your friend’s link!
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Kudos to you guys for wanting to hop back on the baby making wagon so soon. I was hoping that we’d have at least four break before our second but I guess fate had other plans. LOL. Happy that Steve got a new job too!
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YAY! So excited for you guys! And a tiny bit jealous, I have baby fever so bad! 😉
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Good luck in your endeavor to VBAC. My little HBAC is 14 months now and I think back on what I did to prepare and then had just about all my expectations blown (some for the better, mind you). Finding the supportive team is the most important thing. You can check the ICAN VBAC ban database for hospitals near you. And there is a good, VBAC specific reading list in the ICAN store as well.
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babydickey Reply:
April 19th, 2011 at 11:24 pm
Thanks! There is one hospital (of the 3 here) that allows VBACs, but they put a time limit on them… I’d have to go into labor by week 39 or they’ll schedule a repeat c-section for that week (between 39 and 40). I went 9 days late the first time so I don’t see that working out for me!
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I always think it’s funny when people announce they are going to try for a baby – TMI 🙂 J/k, I wish you the best when you’re ready!
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Wishing you the best of luck!
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Thanks everyone!
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Hugs!! I totally know what you are going through! I had a c-section with my first (she was breech) and wanted with all my heart a natural VBAC. I went to a birth center an hour away with a midwife, took classes, did it all. I also mentally prepared for the small chance that I’d have another c-section. I ended up choosing a 2nd c-section after my water broke and I labored for 36 hrs and having my labor stop at 3cm. I know the emotions that go into choosing a c section. I am here if you ever want to talk childbirth, I believe I was a rare case and you CAN do this! I also believe that if you read, go to classes, choose the midwife, and are in control then if you happen to need the c-section, knowing you gave it your all and knowing you chose the best thing for your baby will make the c-section so so SO much easier to handle mentally.
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babydickey Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Thanks Annie! I’d LOVE to talk with you… I know I need to mentally prepare for the possibility of another c-section too and I’ve heard others say the same thing you said – if I feel in control and make the decision on my own and know I tried everything I could – the surgery will be easier to handle. Would you be interested in doing a Q&A type thing with me that I can post on my blog?? I will email you – as soon as I have time, haha – adding it to my to-do list!
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Annie @ Mama Dweeb Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 2:01 pm
Yes! I’d love to do a Q&A with you. You have my email address, just shoot me an email and I will be more than happy to answer all your questions. I also have photos of my labor at the birth center and my c-section. I even tandem nursed less than an hour after surgery. Of all my c-sections, I think the one I chose after going through labor really went the best mentally. I had a 3rd c-section in December since I could not find anyone around here that would do a VBA2C and I was slightly disappointed about that, but after hearing from my dr during surgery about the state of my uterus (TMI?) I am so glad I chose the 3rd surgery instead of a long labor!
Talk to you soon!
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I don’t know that you ever feel totally ready for an VBAC/HBAC – just like you don’t ever feel totally ready when you go into labor with your first child!
I know that I’ve had extensive conversations with my midwife and her assistant (who has HBACed twice) and they have both said that it might not necessarily be something that people aren’t terrified of until its actually happening – and when it is happening, you are too focused to care. I’m scared out of my mind, but at the same time, I know I don’t want to schedule a 2nd csec *just because* I had one the first time. And also, I was scared of my homebirth the first time. It didn’t work and here I am again. Still scared but a different kind.
Good luck, emily! I know you’ll be JUST FINE!
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babydickey Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 2:00 pm
Ohhh you don’t even know how much better I feel to hear that I’m not alone in my fear. I’ve been thinking I need to NOT be terrified before I get pregnant – so to hear that just may never happen – is a relief. I was feeling like I’d never get there, haha. And that’s such a good point – I *know* I don’t want to schedule another c-section.
You’ll be just fine too mama, you’ll do great!!! YAY so excited for you! 🙂
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Being prepared is better :).
Umm, you could just not go to the hopsital between weeks 39 and 40 if you don’t have the baby yet. What are they going to do? Turn you away? Would they do that?
Here (Canada, NB.) they schedule you in every week when you’re close to your due date. I usually would call and cancel every other week if it was too much and everything was going fine.
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babydickey Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 8:32 pm
Yea I suppose I could do that–but when I finally did show up at the hospital in labor, I better be damn near ready to push or the c-section persuasion/pushing/forcing wouldn’t end. They tried to induce me at 41 weeks with my first and when I asked for a few more days, they threatened me with “fetal demise” and said I had to sign something saying that if something was wrong with my baby, it was MY fault, not theirs, because I refused the induction date they wanted. When I showed up in labor (on my own) at 41+2, it was clear that they did NOT like me (“oh. YOU’RE the one that refused induction. hm.”) 🙁
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Hi there,
Interesting story you have here. My sister had a C-section with her first and has successfully had 2 more vaginally. Keep up the research and find a doc who is willing to help you birth the way you want to!
I am going to give you the name of a very knowledgeable woman, Claire Marie Miller. Check her out here: http://www.nurturingthemother.com/, for starters. I took this class with her, and she is a walking encyclopedia on baby topics!
Good Luck!
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Thank you!! I’m checking out the website right now, I appreciate you sharing!
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I’m so excited for you guys! I’m happy you get the opportunity to have the birth experience you have wanted as well 🙂
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Ahh that all seems so stressful!! Why does IL suck?! I suggest moving to the Live Free or Die state! 😉
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babydickey Reply:
April 21st, 2011 at 6:52 pm
lolol I should! IL totally sucks.
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So glad baby making plans are back on!
Add “Hire” a doula to the list and check it off, I’m coming 🙂
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