How breastfeeding has shaped my role as a mother

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about mothering through breastfeeding. Please read the other blogs in today’s carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!


This is pretty important to me. Most of you know I had an unnecessary c-section and how it greatly impacted me after Ryan was cut out of me born. I wasn’t immediately head-over-heels in love, I was depressed. I cried ALL the time. I held Ryan and nursed Ryan because I knew that’s what I was supposed to do, but not because it’s what I wanted to do. I regret that so much, but I can’t change it. And I couldn’t change it at the time. It’s not like I WANTED to feel that way, to feel like I never wanted another baby, to not feel that connection with Ryan I heard so many other women talk about. It was crushing and I hate thinking back on that time.

I’m better now. :) <– see?! For real though. And when I used to hate breastfeeding, I now adore it. I used to look forward to pumping and having Steve feed Ryan, now I wish he never had to take a bottle at all. I know that recovering physically and mentally from my c-section helped those emotions, but breastfeeding and sticking with it helped more than I could have imagned.

There’s a bond formed by breastfeeding. Yes, you can bond while feeding with a bottle (as my husband does), but there is something different and special and heartwarming about nursing. I can look into my baby’s eyes while he’s milk-drunk and so content, while he smiles during nursing, and know I am doing something wonderful for him (and for me) and it’s our special time. Mom and baby time.

I didn’t get that instant bonding and connection feeling when Ryan was born because I didn’t have that release of hormone you get during a vaginal birth. Breastfeeding helped tremendously at bringing me closer to Ryan. These first 7 months have flown by. I used to think my breastfeeding goal was one year and I thought it’d be a struggle to get there–but it’s going to be here before I know it and I am not ready to stop. It’s easy, it’s comforting, it’s special. And Ryan is pretty spoiled so what baby wants, baby gets ;)

Being a mom–and a breastfeeding mom–has also completely changed my views on nursing in public and women’s rights. Not that I was EVER against it before, but now I will FIGHT for it.

How has breastfeeding changed or shaped your role as a mother? I think regardless of the length of breastfeeding–1 month or 1 year–it changes you. It brought Ryan and me closer together. (and hey–it has helped me lose that baby weight, let’s not forget that either, haha).


Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

12 comments to How breastfeeding has shaped my role as a mother

  • GREAT post! I know you had a hard time in the beginning, but you worked through it and now you and Ryan are both enjoying breastfeeding.

    I think breastfeeding has brought me so much closer to Lucas. DH has yet to feed Lucas (I don’t pump so he can feed him, that’s MY time :) lol) but he will get to when Lucas starts solids. I love the connecting Luke and I share because of breastfeeding. It’s food for him but it’s also his security, comfort, and so much more. I love love breastfeeding :)

    [Reply]

  • Just wanted you to know that I did have a natural, unmedicated delivery and I too did not have that instant love for my baby. While I am definitely an advocate for natural birth, I think it is unfair to say that just because you have one means you will have an instant connection with your baby. I struggled in the first week or so of my LO’s life because I felt like a bad mother. Having a baby is a HUGE life change and no matter how you deliver him or her, it is a hormonal nightmare! Not everyone feels that immediate connection to their baby and it’s okay! That was the hardest thing for me to understand, but after talking to so many other mom’s, I found out that my feelings were very normal! Now I can’t imagine my life without her!

    And I too am exclusively breastfeeding and love it! It’s tough in the beginning, but gets so much better with time!!

    Just thought I would throw my two cents in there! :-)

    [Reply]

    babydickey Reply:

    Thank you – yes, I should have pointed that out. I know not everyone has it (even with a vaginal birth). And it IS hard because you do end up feeling like a bad mom–because no one talks about it. You have this idea that you have a baby, you fall in love, everything is wonderful and perfect. I felt like no one “warned” me what it would really be like and how much of a mess I’d be and that it was OK to not be head-over-heels in love with him immediately. Thanks for sharing :)

    [Reply]

  • Wendy

    I have to agree with the previous poster. I had an unmedicated birth with my son, and had a hard time with the lack of instant bonding. And breastfeeding was a nightmare for a few months. We got it though, eventually, and continued for nearly 3 years. With my daughters, they were born by C-section, but I felt like I bonded immediately. And they were able to breastfeed immediately, they came out knowing what to do. And having been through so much pain and stress the first time, *I* knew what to do too.

    Before my children were born, I never knew I would love breastfeeding so much, or become and advocate for it. I always assumed I would do it, if it worked…but didn’t know I would have to fight so hard, and be so proud I succeeded.

    [Reply]

    babydickey Reply:

    Congrats mama, 3 years is a huge accomplishment!!! I love it too :) and I agree, I didn’t know how MUCH I’d love it, enough to be an advocate – for that and for birth!! Ah, the way life changes. Thanks for your comment… I think it helps other mamas to get the word out there that their isn’t always instant bonding and that’s OKAY.

    [Reply]

    Wendy Reply:

    Definately! I remember a co-worker telling me before my son was born that she hated being a SAHM, and had to come back to work when he was 6 months old. And that it was okay to not love everything about being a mom. It helped to hear that, and to remember it during those loooong scream-filled nights.

    [Reply]

  • Excellent post. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m impressed! Extremely useful info specially the last part :) I care for such info much. I was seeking this particular information for a long time. Thank you and good luck.

    [Reply]

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